Spousal/Partner Assistance

We receive so many emails in the course of days, weeks and months, many of which are spam. Far too often they are concerning one’s desire for pharmaceuticals, one’s vanity or they have to do with relationships. Before, I have sounded off about such things. Yesterday, in my Inbox for GMAIL, I received an email with the subject line reading: “Spousal/Partner Assistance.”

Upon receiving that, I assumed it was someone marketing their mail-order bride dating service. Lo and behold, being single, I could find a way to hook up with a “beautiful and single” Russian or Chinese “wife.” Because of GMAIL’s normally careful filters, I assumed that if this was in my Inbox, it deserved an opening. I opened it up, and was very surprised to read for what it was.

In their relocation efforts, my new company hires relocation consultants to assist someone like me with the relocation of their wife or spouse. I immediately returned the woman a note saying: “I do not have a spouse or partner. They hired a bachelor, and I have moved to Boise for just myself.”

I was laughing so hard in writing that with self-deprecation thinking that it was spam, I didn’t pause for a moment to really think on it. Ultimately, the subsequent thought process, one must realize is largely predicated on the new city, which I call home. I say that, because when one surrounds him or herself in their demographic, and everyone they meet is married and is rearing children, it stands as a firm contrast.

By no means am I a lonely heart Matt, at least not so far as I think; however, moving here to Boise does serve to keep me more in exceptional contexts, rather than that of the “normative twenty-nine-year-old young professional in Chicago.” A good fifty-percent of my friends back in Chicago are not married; most of them don’t even have a relationship heading in that direction. Here in Boise, however, when I meet people around my age with similar career aspirations, I find them married with adorable little ones.

I continue not to have plans to “rush into” anything. I say that with all sincerity; but, I would be a liar not to concede that one’s surroundings don’t highlight their being an exception. As I move to conclusion, the thought that lingers in my mind is one of a bit of fear. Quite honestly, I am fine being so single, albeit with the occasional lonesomeness; however, the fear I have is that I have not been living in Boise for a long time. Those who have, immersed in this more paired up culture, without a spouse or partner, have to feel their exceptional nature even more than I do, in my newbie status. With that, not having yet been on a date here in Boise, I have to admit, I am a bit on my heels. My fear is meeting a lovely young woman having a date or two, and quickly finding out that she not only has the expectation of quick nuptials, but a quick family. As many of you know, I ran into that in Chicago about eleven months ago. Those are expectations or requirements I would prefer not to encounter. As I write that, I find myself thinking: “Matt, no risk, no reward.”

That’s me on a Saturday morning, at work, before my training group for the Robie Creek Race.